Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Two words: nipple clamps
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
