you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
