a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
