Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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