a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
