Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
