Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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