This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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