either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
