I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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