I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
