Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
