What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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