that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
