the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
