My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize