1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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