Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
