I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Be still, my beating vagina.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
