Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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