The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
