I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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