Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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