Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
