Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
