he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
