Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if only i could text you this smell
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
