In the future we'll all be gay
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
