Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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