You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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