That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
