its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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