I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think your dad took our porno
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
