Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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