Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
