I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
