the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
