i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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