Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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