Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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