I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
