u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
