is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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