Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
