Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
