Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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