She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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