Little spoons don't ask big questions
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
