what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize