false alarm. still invincible.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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