I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
