i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
