found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
