I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
