waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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