U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
