wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize