Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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