I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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