Sponge bath it is.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
