All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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