side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
